Neutropenic again

Olivia had her blood counts done yesterday,  1 week after being discharged from the hospital. She left the hospital last week with an ANC of 544 (normal is 1500). We were hoping that by this time her counts would go up to the thousands since the last episode, her counts went back up within a week. Surprisingly her counts went down again. Though her red blood counts are good, her ANC is now down to 288. She looks pretty healthy and active though so we don't want to worry too much. We are actually surprised that she has been eating well even without the appetite boost from her steroids.  She has been on chemo hold for 2 weeks now and because her counts are still low, chemo will continue to be on hold until we go back for another blood count next Friday. Sometimes I don't know how I feel about chemotherapy. It's good that it kills cancer cells but I don't like that it also damages the good cells causing her blood counts to go down. I worry that if she is not getting the dosage she needs as part of the protocol that there is higher risk for a relapse. At the same time I wouldn't want for her body to continue getting these toxic medication if it would mean her health is jeopardized.

Olivia's last fever/neutropenia episode made her stop chemo for 2 weeks. I remember that when she started chemo again, we noticed that her body had a difficult time adjusting to chemo again. Especially with the steroids where mood swings were really bad. This time we know for sure that her chemo is on hold for at least 3 weeks. I just hope her body would adjust fairly well once chemo resumes. Praying that her counts go back up to the thousands next week.