Done with Induction

Induction phase is done and it's a big milestone that deserves a celebration! The doctor said the worst is over (as far as side effects)! We should expect Olivia's energy to be back to where she was before diagnosis. We're so excited to see her walking, running and playing around again, oh and dry hair (from sweat) and no more cranky pants!!!

At the sedation room getting ready for spinal tap and bone marrow aspiration

Olivia had her spinal tap and bone marrow aspiration yesterday, Friday morning, which lasted for an hour. She was sedated the whole time and both mommy and daddy were observing in the back of the room. The anesthesiologist told us to take advantage while she's "asleep" and do the things we need to do after the procedures, like nail cutting or hair cutting if we wanted to! Good thing Olivia loves doing both while awake =) Both Daddy and I felt a different feeling of excitement yesterday, knowing that the procedures done will tell us that Olivia's 1 month of chemotherapy worked! We will find out about the results towards end of next week. The next phase of chemotherapy should resume the week after next. More details to come after we discuss results with our doctors.

Last night was the first night I slept through the whole night since Olivia's diagnosis. It was a rough month since Olivia only wanted Mommy. If Daddy or anyone attempts to hold her, let alone get near her, she will throw a big fit. Screaming, throwing things..you name it. I would normally wake up 2 to 3 times a night with Olivia, either to bring her to the bathroom or feed her. When she eats, she eats for an hour. Yes, she eats that whole time! Sometimes I just think of it like I have a newborn, caring for the baby every 2 hours...a 30 lbs baby that is! I would like to think that I am a superwoman who will never run out of energy to do all these things. But I guess all superheroes need to recharge too. Last night was the night I felt I couldn't get up at all. I felt like I ran the marathon and I couldn't walk. That's when I felt Someone up there gave me a tap on my back and told me that I need to rest. God was so good that He let Olivia allow her Daddy to take care of her last night so I can get some sleep! Not one scream of wanting Mommy! Thank you Olivia and thank you Lord!

This morning, Olivia woke up dry! She used to normally wake up soaking wet from sweat. She noticed it herself and was surprised to see she is not sweating anymore!!!

The perfect love

It's been almost a month since Olivia's diagnosis. The doctors said that once we get home from the hospital, we need to be doing the normal things so that she will feel better faster. I have been encouraging her to play everyday, but I don't always get my luck. Most of the time, she would just want to lay down and watch Sofia the First. Once in a while, she would have the energy to open presents that she's received from our generous family and friends. We read books everyday and play picnic sometimes. What I find her enjoy the most is playing with play doh and painting, which is how we normally spend our afternoons.

We have been painting her Sofia the First water color painting book for the past few days. She's usually quiet when she's painting and I always wonder what she's thinking about. I guess she enjoys painting and it relaxes her. That's when I thought of bringing out a blank piece of paper, some washable paints and let her paint from scratch.

I let her paint by herself. She would get annoyed anyway if I tried to help her. A few minutes later, her painting is done and I am the proudest mom in the world!

Her painting reminded me of my tulip flower arrangement! I would like to think that this reflects her thoughts. After doing some research, I found out that the primary significance of tulips is "perfect love". It's beautiful and it's simple. Our love for our children and the way they love us back best describes our definition of a perfect love.

Happy thanksgiving to all! Let's be thankful for the gift of life, our families and friends. Spread the love!

Breakfast of the champions

This is Olivia's typical breakfast : 2 slices of pizza, 1 large serving of homemade healthy mac and cheese (with pureed butternut squash and glazed onions), and a bowl of cereal.

She's definitely a fighter and our champion! Go Olivia!

She has 4 days left before her last dose of Dexamethasone, the steroid medication that increases her appetite, causes increased sweating and mood changes. We hope that she wouldn't lose all her appetite during the next phase of her chemo treatment. Less sweating would be great! I change her clothes so often because she sweats a lot, and I have been using the disposable changing pads to put on top of her pillow because it gets soaking wet really fast. We're also excited about the mood swings getting better! I miss the Olivia that's always happy and cheerful.

Sporting a new hairdo

Not bad...not bad at all =) She actually looks cute with her short hair. She's not bothered by it and it's definitely easier to manage her perspiration due to chemo. She has been in a really bad mood for a few days now. Her mood swings got worse after this last chemo. Everyday is still a learning experience for me and all her caregivers. Sometimes she just wants someone to hug her and at times she wants to be left alone. She also started to complain about her legs again. She does not want to walk and begs to be carried all the time again.

I've been trying to catch her in a good mood so I can take a picture of her smiling with her new look. Finally I got one!

Day 22 of Chemotherapy

We went to the hospital today for Olivia's chemotherapy. We met 2 new friends who have the same condition as hers. Interestingly, both kids were 2 year old girls and all three of them were just months apart in age and time of diagnosis. It gave us a picture of where Olivia will be in the coming months. It was nice to be able to make friends with the parents of the kids and learn about how they are coping with this disease. Olivia was not yet comfortable at the oncology center, but seeing the 2 happy girls made us hopeful that our Olivia will be playing with them soon!

I mentioned to the doctor that for the past week, we have noticed Olivia sweat a lot when she sleeps. It is a common side effect of chemo. I cut her hair last week and will most likely cut it again shorter this week. Once in a while Olivia will show me a strand of hair on her fingers and asks me what happened to her hair. I'm thinking that cutting her hair short will help make it an easier transition for when all/majority of her hair falls off. I also think it will be easier to manage the perspiration when she has shorter hair.  I read to her a book about  losing hair during chemo and she likes it.

Olivia's blood counts today made us sooo happy! She is looking pretty good and is where she is expected to be!

Her current blood counts are as follows:

White Blood Count 3.4 (Normal is 5-10; last week was 1.2)

Hemoglobin 8.6 (Normal is 12-14; last week was 9.3) Although it came down, it's not at a level that would require transfusion

Platelets 350,000 (Normal is 150,000-450,000; last week was 81,000) Yay!!!

ANC 2,412 (Normal is at least 1,500; last week was 132) - This was where I was surprised the most! Thank you God!!!

Next week will mark the last week of the Induction phase. The goal of the 4 weeks of Induction is to kill majority of the cancer cells, leaving a favorable 0.01% remaining. The hardest part will be to kill the 0.01% and basically the entire process will span about 2 1/2 to 3 years. Throughout the Induction phase, Olivia had gone through bone marrow aspiration and spinal tap where the doctors run tests to see how she is responding to the chemotherapy. We will be sitting down with our doctors in 2 weeks from now to discuss all the findings. The test results will determine what path to take for her succeeding chemo treatments.

Eating healthier (trying to)

Ever since we came back from the hospital, Olivia would always request for mac and cheese, pizza, or just plain cheese with pretzels. Her taste has changed and this is very common with chemotherapy. Chemo patients describe most food as bland. It looks like Olivia likes anything salty. The doctor even said that if a time comes that she doesn't want to eat anything, give her hot sauce and that will solve the problem! We have not reached that point yet =)

For the past few days that Olivia has been asking for mac and cheese, I've been making the boxed version. With the amount of attention Olivia needs, the boxed version just made it a lot easier for us. I would still give her a side of a regular healthy food though (rice, meat, soup with veggies), which is very important. I have found a way to bribe her with what she wants if she agrees to eat the healthier food too.

Earlier this week, we finally decided to prepare homemade mac and cheese instead of the ready-to-cook option. I went to the grocery store just in time before they closed to buy some ingredients. Hubby and I helped each other cook our first homemade mac and cheese with the help of YouTube! We finished baking at midnight, just in time for Olivia's midnight snack.

When we used to give Olivia the boxed mac and cheese, she would normally ask for a second serving of just mac and cheese. With the homemade version, she actually asked for a second serving of the healthier food, not the mac and cheese!!! Not sure if my mac and cheese was not that great, or maybe I just cooked really good chicken milanese with spinach and artichoke today. Whatever it is, it works!

Now we're on a mission to find different recipes for a healthy mac and cheese! If you have one that you would like to share, let me know!

First of many miracles

Last night we welcomed to our home Our Lady of Miraculous Medal and the Infant Jesus. It was day one of our Novena and we prayed for Olivia's healing. We believe in miracles, and today we witnessed the first of many more miracles to come!

For the past couple weeks, Olivia would wake up crying and not in a good mood. Last week she also started to have a hard time standing and walking which is a side effect of chemotherapy. Since then she would usually cry and beg to be carried.

This morning she woke up really happy! She walked out of her room by herself, hugged Kuya Gabe and greeted everyone a good morning! For the first time she was not complaining about her leg at all. In a very happy tone, she shouted "I can walk now!". I still notice her limping but she's not requesting to be carried at all. She was running in the hallway shouting "I can run now!!!". God is good! Thank you Lord!

Today is the happiest we've ever seen her in a while. Thank you all for your continued prayers!

Day 15 Chemotherapy - blood test results

The doctor said they don't normally tell the patients the results of the blood counts. They monitor it themselves and they will let us know if there is something that requires immediate attention (e.g. blood transfusion). However, they are not stopping us from asking for the results if we wanted to. I started to create a chart in my binder where I can log in her blood counts and vitals.

Her current blood counts are as follows:

White Blood Count 1.2 (Normal is 5-10; last week was 1.4) Although it's low, this is where she is expected to be =)

Hemoglobin 9.3 (Normal is 12-14; last week was 6.4 after the repeat blood work) YAY!!!

Platelets 81,000 (Normal is 150,000-450,000; last week was 20,000) DOUBLE YAY!!!

ANC 132 (Normal is 1,500; last week was 56) Even though she's still considered severely neutropenic (cannot fight infection), this still deserves a TRIPLE YAY!!! for the improvement from last week!

This girl deserves a treat! Here she is with a serving of rice and chicken with a serving of bagel bites for snacks (just snacks..not dinner yet..lol)

Day 15 of Chemotherapy

We just got home from the hospital for Olivia's chemotherapy. This is her third dose of Vincristine which is given to her through her portacath. When we were getting Olivia ready, it was like she knew exactly where we were going. She asked me "We're going home?". I assured her it will be a quick visit and that we will be coming home afterwards. The childcare specialist said that it is normal that they feel this anxiety in the beginning. Olivia's doctor also told me to give them about 4 more weeks and then at that point Olivia should see it as a normal thing.

As we sit in the waiting room, we see other kids with the same condition as Olivia. Some are like her age, one seemed younger, and another one looked like he/she was about 10 years old. It looked like this was a normal thing for them - some were eating, playing, watching TV, and there was even one having a blood transfusion while playing. At some point we heard someone moaning. We can't help but ask one of the staff if he was in pain. Luckily he was not. He might have been just cranky. We were told though that they cannot promise Olivia will not be in any pain because she will be at some point. Their goal is to make it less painful as much as they can.

The doctor examined Olivia and we talked about some of the side effects that we have been noticing. We talked about how Olivia had gained weight again. In just 3 days, she now weighs 28 lbs (1 1/2 lbs weight gain). Blood was drawn, and then the chemo was given to her. It was difficult asking Olivia to take her shirt off so that the nurse can access her port. It is good to know that there is actually a special T-shirt that is specifically made for cancer patients. There is a small "window opening" on the shirt where the portacath is located. It is a better way of accessing her port rather than having to remove the shirt. We received a gift certificate to purchase one! We are definitely getting one and hopefully it arrives in time before our next visit! Aside from the doctor's exam, the whole procedure was done in about 10-15 minutes.

I mentioned to the doctor that I started to notice strands of hair on her pillow. There are also signs of thinning hair. I guess this is it...she is starting to lose her hair. Although it is expected to happen, it is still painful for a parent to see hair loss on their child. Do we let it all naturally fall off? Or do we shave it off soon? We'll have to see how Olivia feels about it. If she doesn't want to shave it then we will let her be. We do not want it to be traumatizing for her.

We got home in time for lunch. Olivia was pretty tired but still wanted to eat before napping.

Here she is trying to give me a smile. Kids do not usually admit they are tired. They normally want to keep playing or try to get away from taking a nap. So when Olivia says she is tired, she really is.

Good mood today

Olivia seems to be in a good mood today! She still had some moments but for the most part of the day, she was cheerful and eager to play with her toys! This makes me so happy because the last few days all she wanted to do was to lay down and watch TV.

We started with water color painting. She looked bored in the beginning, but she started to get more energy afterwards.

She picked her chores too! Something to get her excited everyday. Examples of the chores she chose were : read a book, go potty, eat veggies. She gets a star every time she does her chores, and gets a reward at the end of the week! (Thanks to our reward closet sponsored by family and friends!)

She even played "Teacher" and taught me subtraction using her play doh's !
Watch this video ->Learning math through play doh

Tomorrow morning we are scheduled to go to the hospital for her weekly chemo through her port. Every time her port is accessed, the nurses put a needle on her chest and through her portacath. We were given a numbing cream that we need to apply 30 mins before going to the hospital. It will be easy to tell her it's just lotion, but she's a smart girl. I'm nervous that soon she will associate it with going to the hospital and getting a needle inserted in her. Hope all goes well tomorrow!

Simple things

Olivia has been taking her oral chemo medicine everyday for the past 2 weeks. She's still not used to the taste, but I am glad she is taking it! It's in a form of 2 small tablets that I have to crush and mix with water. I have been using two spoons to crush them until I decided to buy an appropriate pill crusher. It's the simple things that make us happy!

Throwback Thursday

I was looking at Olivia's old pictures the other night and I cried remembering the day of her diagnosis. I felt the same feelings I had that day...anger, denial, confusion and sadness. I watched her videos from school and saw how happy she was dancing and playing with her friends. Even though we have slowly accepted this challenge in our lives, I still get these sudden moments of outbursts. All these mixed emotions and what if's play in my mind. But the best part of it is that it always ends with the feeling of hope. This is a disease with a cure and this type of leukemia (ALL) has a good prognosis especially in her age. I just have to continue to have faith. I ask all our prayer warriors out there to continue to pray with us for strength to get through this. The overwhelming support and prayers we get give us this incredible strength to get us through each day. One day at a time. That's what I learned from a mother who has gone through the same situation we are in now.

Here is Olivia 6 months before diagnosis.

Here she is 2 months before diagnosis.

And here she is about 3 weeks before diagnosis.

False alarm

We went to see the doctor this morning to have Olivia checked. Yesterday I was worried she was looking pale. The doctor checked her and she's fine. Honestly, she wasn't as pale as she was yesterday, but I still wanted to have her checked for peace of mind. The doctor did not even request for a blood test. He will have to do it anyway on Friday, so why bother poke her with a needle now if there are no symptoms of low hemoglobin.

I guess it served as a practice for our regular visit to the Oncology center! She was really good today and cooperated to wear her mask. She is required to wear a mask whenever she goes out as a precaution.

We got home just in time for lunch. I'm so glad I was able to bribe her with eating something more nutritious than what she has been eating lately! I told her I will give her the mac and cheese she requested if she eats a bowl of rice with beef nilaga (beef soup). She ended up having 2 bowls of nilaga with her mac and cheese!

Last night was the first time she woke up in the middle of the night looking for food. She already gained 2 lbs in a week! The doctor said that she will gain a lot more than that!

More Frozen toys!

We received more presents today, but we don't know who they came from. If these came from anyone of you, please let us know so we can personally thank you.

I am keeping all her presents in a "reward closet". Olivia will get to pick a reward every time she does something good, every Friday when we come home from chemo or anytime we come home from unscheduled hospital visits.

Pale Monday

I decided to call the doctor today to report that Olivia looks pale again. When we got discharged last Friday, I told the doctor my concerns about her hemoglobin level. Our scheduled appointment to go back for check up and chemo is not until Friday of this week. The doctor advised to call them if I feel there is a need to be seen before then.

We are now scheduled to come to the hospital tomorrow, Tuesday morning to get checked if she needs a blood transfusion. The doctor said they don't normally do transfusion in between the scheduled weekly chemo, but it's better to get checked. Usually the transfusion should last her at least a week. Sometimes a child may show paleness but does not necessarily mean her counts are low. The results of her repeat blood count on Friday morning was 6.4 (earlier that morning it was 5.6). When they do a blood transfusion, the doctors expect the hemoglobin to go up by 1 to 2 pts, which means she would be somewhere around 7+.

I asked the doctor too if it is normal to be receiving blood transfusions this often. At this stage of her condition, it is.

For us, it is better safe than sorry. We want to make sure her counts are not dropping dramatically.

The complete care package!

Auntie Lara and Uncle Craig came today with a bunch of goodies! From papertowels, to hand sanitizers, to ready to cook meals, an Ipad?! =) and a whole lot more! Thank you so much!

Olivia will love that we have a bunch of ready to cook frozen pizza! Hard to believe but she actually finished a half pie of medium sized pizza this morning!

Olivia also received a baby Anna today! Thank you to Sydney, Tita Claire and Uncle Oliver! Now her baby dolls have a new friend!

We really appreciate everyone's generosity, prayers and support that you have been giving our family! Right now Olivia seems like a normal kid when you look at her pictures. I just hope her numbness in her legs don't get worse. She can stand up for a little bit when she goes potty, but she says it's very difficult.

Preparing our home and our family

Welcome Home banner from our neighbor's entire 2nd grade class

Mark and I spent the last week in the hospital taking turns in going home and preparing our house for when Olivia finally comes home. The house is the cleanest it has ever been!

Here are a few things we bought SO FAR! Every fighter has their tools..these are ours.

Here are some other things to keep in mind :

1. We need to maintain clean surfaces all the time and hand washing is very important.

2. Only fruits that can be peeled is allowed. This means no more strawberries, blueberries and the likes. These fruits are at higher risk for mold.

3. We took all indoor plants outside. We cannot have flowers and plants inside the house. It could be a source of mold that can lead to infection.

4. Olivia cannot take multivitamins because it may disrupt chemotherapy.

When it comes to preparing our family, we are preparing ourselves for:

1. Hair loss. I have learned not all kids lose their hair. Some lose it right away and some lose it later. If Olivia does lose hair, the earliest we could see it is in the next 2 weeks. The secret is to not make it a big deal. Kids her age don't usually get bothered. Parents are more bothered by it than anyone else because it makes it more obvious that their kid is sick.

2. How to explain she cannot go to school for a while. Olivia always says she is better now. We don't even mention that she is sick because she wouldn't like it. On Monday when she sees Kuya go to school, she will question why she cannot go with him.

3. How to deal with other side effects. One of the side effects of the chemo she is taking now is difficulty in walking. Olivia started showing these signs last night. It's hard for her to stand or walk. The doctors say this is temporary, only while she's on the medication. Good thing I still kept our Ergo Baby carrier!

4. How to keep up with her appetite. Last night she ate 2 big slices of pizza. This morning she is requesting for more pizza! We need to stock up on ready to cook/bake meals!

First day back at home

Olivia woke up happy today! She ate more than usual for breakfast. She never really liked hotdogs before, but she was able to to finish 1 1/2 hotdogs, pancakes, cheese and orange juice!

She was surprised to see more toys waiting for her in her room! Thanks to all who sent her care packages!

Her good mood didn't last that long. She became so cranky the rest of the morning. Kuya Gabe was such a good big bro though, trying to entertain Olivia and finding her toys she can play with. He doesn't have a lot of patience though and that's not his fault. It's hard for a 4 year old to understand why Olivia is acting the way she is.

We now understand the moodiness side effect the doctor has been explaining. It is indeed 10 times PMS! She woke up happy from her nap, wanting to eat pretzels and cheese .

There's no place like home

We got home at around 8:30 PM on Friday, November 7, 2014. We had enough time to watch a movie and relax in the family room. Here's Olivia getting cozy wearing her princess robe.

She had a good night sleep in her room. She must have missed her own bed a lot! She was even sleep talking and said "Mommy! I want pizza!!!" The doctors have warned us that we need to have prepared meals because one of the side effects of her steroids will make her want to eat all the time, even in the middle of the night!

Getting ready to go home!

After the repeat blood count, doctor had advised that Olivia would need the transfusion. Here she is keeping herself busy while waiting for the last drop! She said she was very excited to go home!

Olivia has gotten a lot better with her speech this past week and a half. She can say complete sentences already and everyone at the hospital say she's advanced for a 2 1/2 year old. We would like to believe that this is one of God's gift to prepare us for this journey. She can communicate with us better and this will definitely help all of us caring for her.

After about 3 hours of the blood transfusion, we are finally discharged!

Here's a video of Olivia saying goodbye to her room! Click Here ->Finally going home!

Day 8 of Chemo / 11th day at Hospital

Today marks Olivia's 8th day of her Chemotherapy and our 11th day at the hospital. She had her 2nd spinal tap procedure this morning, followed by 2 chemo's (one through her spine and one through her port). We should find out the results later this afternoon.

We were originally scheduled to have her procedures done at noon today, but doctors were able to push it up to 10am. It was actually better for Olivia so that she can eat right away (her steroids make her hungry all the time and she was not able to eat since last night until after procedure was done). It was not so good for me because I was the only one with Olivia. Daddy Mark was still at home and it wasn't in the plan to come that early. Mark has been our rock throughout this ordeal. I felt that without him, I wouldn't be able to keep it together. I tried my best to be strong because I know Olivia gets her strength from me. I had the option to leave the room, but I stayed to see how it was done. At that point I felt like crying and leaving the room. It didn't really help seeing about 6 medical students walk in the room to watch the procedure too. It was a bit overwhelming! Big pat on my back for getting through it without tears! Daddy Mark arrived as soon as the anesthesia was starting to wear off.

We don't have discharge papers yet, but we are hoping we can go home today! The doctors are still monitoring her to make sure she is ready to go home today.

Big shout out to Olivia's friends and teachers! This morning she kept on telling me she wanted to go to class. She misses everyone in school. Now we are worried what to tell her when she is home and sees big bro going to school and that she has to stay home.

Before her procedures this morning, the doctor requested to repeat her blood count because her blood tests from early this morning showed that her Hemoglobin dropped to 5.6 (Yesterday she was at 7.8). We will most likely need to get her 5th blood transfusion (3rd hemoglobin transfusion in a span of 11 days) before we get discharged.

She wasn't really in the mood for picture taking. This is the best I could get for now!

Medical Updates

The doctors and nurses have spent a lot of time with us the past couple days explaining more about Olivia's case. I learned about Neutrophil today. It's a type of white blood cell that form an essential part the immune system. Without it, the body has no ability to fight infection. A normal Absolute Neutrophil Count (ANC) is 1,500. When we got admitted, she had 0. That explains why she had fever that lasted more than usual.

Her current blood counts are as follows:

White Blood Count 1.4 (Normal is 5-10)

With her Neutrophil at 4%, her ANC is at 56 (Improved from the day we got admitted!). Anything less than 500 is considered severely neutropenic. This means she cannot fight infection at all.

Hemoglobin 7.8 (Normal is 12-14)

Platelets 20,000 (Normal is 150,000-450,000)


Some of you might ask me why I have been reporting that she is heading the right direction but her blood counts are still way below normal. Chemotherapy actually gets rid of cancer cells, but also gets rid of good blood cells at the same time. What we expect from chemo is that her body start to produce more good blood cells at a faster rate while eliminating the cancer cells. Her current blood counts are where the doctors expect it to be at this stage of chemotherapy. It will be a while until we see her counts close to normal.

That being said, we are being very cautious with her exposure to other people so as to not compromise her immune system. We were advised not to bring her to public places. Playdates are fine as long as everyone is well. Hopefully we get used to our new normal fairly quickly.

Olivia will be getting her 4th blood transfusion tomorrow (platelets), Friday morning, in preparation for her 2nd spinal tap. She will be given 2 chemotherapy medications tomorrow. One through her spine and the other through her port.

Time for some reading

I started to read about Leukemia maybe on our 3rd day here in the hospital. We were in denial at first (I still am...but I know that we need to be smart about this). I find that the more we know about the disease, the more comforted we are and hopeful that we will beat this with the help of prayers and great medical staff.

I bought a binder to store all important documents throughout this journey. It helps to be organized!

Olivia Meets Elsa

The other day Olivia saw a Princess Elsa doll on YouTube and it brought the biggest smile on her face. Now she gets to meet the Elsa doll in person! Thank you Lola! She loved it!

Daddy's Girl

Olivia was extra affectionate to her Daddy today. Here she is upon seeing Daddy walk in the room (he spent the night at home with Kuya).

Here's a bonus track for all our viewers!  Click here to watch -> Daddy singing to Livi